Psychobabble

A Self-Directed Pep-Talk by Maven Quibble



Here’s what I do: I come right at you – directly at you – with everything I’ve friggin’ got. I don’t hold back. I’m in your face like Melrose Place. That rhymes. That’s the only reason I wrote that. But that’s me. That’s what I’m talking about. That’s me coming right at you – directly at you – with everything I’ve friggin’ got. If you can’t take it, fake it. And that rhymes too. And now you know why.

Me? I like my burgers raw. I like to swim naked. I like to punch old ladies and babies. I’m admittedly unusual in that respect.

When I was seven, a nun told me I was the sexiest man she’d ever seen. Yes, she was blind and retarded, but the compliment built my confidence. Now I’m unstoppable. I can’t be stopped. I won’t be stopped. I’ll keep trying ‘til it’s over. Ain’t no fat lady singing YET, beyotch. Not for a LONG time.

You’ll see me down the road. Bank on it.