The Best and Worst Policy

Pontification by Robert McEvily



The boy asked Joy if there was a monster under his bed. Joy told him no. There was, but she didn't want him to worry.

Whenever Dot asks Joy how she looks, Joy tells her "great." "You look great." Dot looks awful. She smokes too much and rarely gets outside. Still, Joy says "great."

Dot asked Joy about the boy. Joy said, "Troy?" Dot said yes. Joy said, "oy," then pretended she forgot an appointment and awkwardly split. Dot laughed. It's all she could think to do. Joy just leaving like that - it was weird.

The monster asked the boy to hear him out. "I am a monster, and I do eat kids," it said. "But I don't eat every kid, and I certainly don't eat kids I like, and I like you. I think you're cool. You're polite and you're fairly honest, and you have a lot of interesting books around. And you don't snore, which is key."

"I don't understand what you want," said the boy.

"I'd like to stay here," said the monster. "I like it here. I want to keep living under your bed. But you have to keep believing in me. You don't believe, I can't stay. It's that simple." The monster asked the boy to crawl under the bed. "Let's shake hands and make a deal," it said. Its eyes glowed red.

Now of course it's possible the monster's a liar. Generally, monsters aren't truthful. It's reasonable to assume the boy gets eaten, especially considering Joy's reaction when Dot asks about him. But it's also possible the monster's sincere. It just wants to live. Like anyone. Isn't that possible? And shouldn't it make a play for its life? And was Joy wrong in not telling the boy about the monster? Not wanting him to worry - isn't that just a rationalization? Isn't she just avoiding an uncomfortable responsibility? Wouldn't the boy be better prepared to handle his eventual confrontation with the monster if she'd said something?

Free advice: Know the real enemy.

There's nothing wrong with Joy telling Dot she looks "great." Lies are rankable. "Great" ranks way low. And by the way...

Show me a rude person, and I'll show you someone who's "just being honest."