Wishful Thinking

Projections by Victor Lembrey



I'd like to paint more in the new year, maybe do some simple stuff just to build up my count. (Believe it or not, the above's by Matisse. I mean, really now... how hard is that?) I'd like to write more, too. All kinds of stuff. I may even write a check once in a while. (I say "may.") For the BDFC, I'm hoping to write the following couple of stories in 2005... (I'm keeping my fingers crossed!)



RAIDERS SIGN SNOOP
by Victor Lembrey
Sports Reporter, BDFC

After two consecutive losing seasons, the befuddled Oakland Raiders have shockingly announced the signing of film actor and rap star Snoop Dogg. Mr. Dogg will replace Kerry Collins as the team's quarterback. "I ain't stoppin' 'til we boogie in the Super Bizzle," said Mr. Dogg. "Ye-ah."



CLUB WELCOMES KLUM
by Victor Lembrey
Recruting Specialist, BDFC

The latest gossip in internet news is the apparent signing of supermodel Heidi Klum as a research assistant (and masseuse) for the Beaver Dam French Club. "Creating new material on an almost-daily basis can be pretty taxing," said Ivy Dillinger, the Club's Director of Publicity. "I think hiring Heidi will keep the guys motivated. I think we'll see some interesting stuff in 2005."

When reached for comment, author Maven Quibble quipped, "I think we'll also see some interesting stuff in my shorts."



Alright, enough icky shenanigans. HAPPY NEW YEAR! Try to be better and brighter in the coming 365. And answer the following question...

If tomorrow, an underwater earthquake created a tidal wave that washed YOU off the face of the earth, would you be happy with the way you lived your last few weeks?

Be better and brighter.