Speaking French with A.L.

An Interview by Ivy Dillinger



You’re in for a genuine treat if you’ve yet to read the words of Anonymous Lawyer. Forget cold water in the face – wake yourself up with A.L.’s ingenuity, comedic timing and ice cold frankness. The New York Times digs him; you will too. Especially after we speak a little French…

IVY
So… have you read any cool books lately?

A.L.
This year's Uniform Commercial Code has some terrific updates. Gripping stuff. The section on Warehouse Receipts had me in tears. I also try and reread Machiavelli's The Prince every few days, just to keep me in the right frame of mind.

IVY
Let's say you had to update Mount Rushmore with four post-Teddy Roosevelt presidents. Who gets the props?

A.L.
Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, and the first President Bush.

IVY
Are flip-flops gay?

A.L.
I'm not sure I know exactly what a flip-flop is. I wear dress shoes to the beach. I think the evolution of the business dress code has been a sad slide down a slippery slope. When I started at the firm, we had "casual Fridays" during the summer, and even those were more formal than what people wear regularly now. I think we should bring back wigs. It works for England.

IVY
What's the psychology of the goatee?

A.L.
Again, the unfortunately casual attitude at work. I've tried to get the firm to be more like the New York Yankees and demand everyone be clean-shaven and take steroids. Unfortunately we merely emulate the Yankees by overpaying a bunch of replaceable parts. I don't trust associates with goatees. I think they're hiding something. Little crumbs of food, perhaps.



IVY
Nancy Grace - thoughts?

A.L.
Sounds like a pseudonym. Her real name is probably much less suited for television. I try not to watch Court TV. My entire aim as a corporate lawyer is to stay away from court, even in my media consumption.

IVY
Please name two famous people you'd enjoy punching.

A.L.
Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny

IVY
What's your definition of happiness?

A.L.
Feeling like you're making a difference, in whatever way you can.

(Again, do yourself a favor and wake yourself up as soon as possible…)