McEvily Names Next "Apprentice"

by Ivy Dillinger
Director of Publicity, BDFC



Robert McEvily, the former mathematical wunderkind (and professional pancake maker), has decided that "Jennifer C.," a graduate of Syracuse University, will emerge victorious among the 18 contestants vying to be Donald Trump's next "Apprentice."

"I took a close look at everyone," said McEvily, "and this Jennifer C. chick stands out. She's got the right look, the right feel. Know what I'm saying? Plus, a woman's gotta win this time. Fair's fair."



Jennifer C., who uses the "C" to differentiate herself from fellow contestant "Jennifer M." (pictured above), is a real estate agent from New York City and a Virgo, so you just know she's a be-yotch of the first order. Among her favorite books, she lists If You Don't Have Big Breasts, Put Ribbons in Your Pig Tails. 'Nuff said.



"Oh yeah," McEvily added (between sips of Diet Coke with Lime). "Look for 23-year-old Harvard grad 'Andy' to be this season's biggest pain in the ass. Just look at the guy!"