Dunne's Dismissal

A Two Act Play by Robert McEvily
Author of Stabbed



ACT ONE

INT. DODD’S OFFICE. ENTER DUNNE.

DUNNE
You wanted to see me?

DODD
Sit down.

Dunne sits. Pause.

DUNNE
Nice haircut. You got your hair cut?

DODD
You haven’t been in the office for over three weeks.

DUNNE
Pardon?

DODD
You haven’t been here in over three weeks.

DUNNE
Wow.

DODD
Wow?

DUNNE
It felt like a weekend. Really. I’m sorry.

Pause.

DODD
How do you explain disappearing for three weeks?

DUNNE
That’s a toughy.

Pause.

DODD
Carr’s had to pick up your slack. You think that’s fair?

DUNNE
Carr?

DODD
Yes.

DUNNE
Well ...

Pause.

DUNNE
He never seems to be doing anything anyway, so ... what’s the biggie? And what’s up with his teeth?

DODD
Also, Mercedes accused you of stealing her purse.

DUNNE
So now we’re equating a great ass with honesty? Is that the game?

DODD
She said you’ve also stolen about a dozen reams of paper. She said you type with one finger and you never answer your phone. She says you take home a giant jug of Poland Spring water every day. Sometimes two jugs.

DUNNE
Can we get back to Carr’s teeth?

DODD
No.

DUNNE
How many reams of paper did she say I stole?

DODD
A dozen.

DUNNE
See, if she’d said two, I’d cop to that. But a dozen? C’mon.

Long pause.

DUNNE
I don’t suppose it’s occurred to you that I have feelings.

DODD
You’re done here.

DUNNE
You’re Dodd here.

DODD
Anything to add?

DUNNE
No. Alice?



ACT TWO

EXT. GREAT LAWN, CENTRAL PARK, NYC. ENTER ALICE COOPER.

COOPER (singing)
School’s... out... for... summer!

DUNNE, DODD, CARR AND MERCEDES SKIP AROUND COOPER AND BLOW BUBBLES WITH BUBBLE WANDS.

CURTAIN.