Wanna-Be Fireman Turns 47

by Victor Lembrey
Reporter at Large



Denis Leary, chain-smoking loudmouth douchebag, is now 47. “Never thought I’d last this long,” said Leary, whose newish television show, Rescue Me, is about pretend firemen with pretend problems. “Look, I like to look cool, but I’m no dope. No way in hell I’m puttin’ my ass in no real fire.” When reached for comment, New York City Fire Commissioner Nicholas Scoppetta said, “Leary? Whatever."