The Potential Masterpiece

A Riff by Maven Quibble



Well, we're into the last two months of the year, and I still haven't painted a masterpiece. One of my New Year's Resolutions for 2004 was to paint a masterpiece. Just two months left. I really don't know if I can do it.

Well, maybe I have already. Do you like what you see? Can I call it a masterpiece?

Man, why did I have to check my resolutions? I don't need this kind of stress! Why couldn't I resolve to become a procrastinating peanut farmer? Then I'd be a HUGE success! But no, I gotta be Joe Masterpiece. What the hell am I gonna do?

MYSTERIOUS VOICE
You can try.

ME
Wha- What the- Who the hell is that?

MYSTERIOUS VOICE
Never you mind. Just listen. Try.

ME
Try?

MYSTERIOUS VOICE
Try.

ME
But what if at first I don't succeed?

MYSTERIOUS VOICE
Just try, try again.

ME
But what if I fail?

MYSTERIOUS VOICE
The only failure is not trying.

ME
But what if-

MYSTERIOUS VOICE
Just fucking TRY, alright? Just TRY already! Okay, dimwit? GOT IT?

ME
Roger and out.